Fiona apologizes for bizarre show
Jam! Music -
March 07, 2000

Fiona Apple has written an apology to fans over her bizarre, tantrum-filled performance at New York's Roseland ballroom last week. 

In the message, posted at her official website [our note: not on the official site but here at] Apple says she tearfully stalked offstage after only a few numbers because the sound quality onstage was abysmal, and added she would rather disappoint her fans by walking off than put on a substandard show. 

"I can't apologize enough. I wanted so much to give not just a good show, but the best I could do -- and given the situation, I wasn't able to do my best," she wrote. 

"If I can't do my best, I can't do it. I just couldn't hear myself at all. And then, true to form, of course I got on a crying jag and couldn't stop. I didn't mean to insult the audience by cutting the show short, but it was becoming a very un-musical spectacle, and it needed to be aborted." 

But then shortly after apologizing, Apple did an about-face and asserted she had nothing to apologize for. 

"I'm glad I walked off, because if I hadn't, the sheer mediocrity that that show would've become, would've absolutely killed me." 

She said she wrote the message "as the most humiliated form of myself," and said the incident was especially sad because it happened before her hometown crowd in New York. 

"I just don't know how to put myself into something that is so obviously wrong. I couldn't continue with a show that was shaping up to be one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. I couldn't," she wrote. 

"I am so f---ing sorry that I don't have whatever it takes to be 'professional' in a situation like that. I feel like I let everyone down, and made a fool of myself in front of everyone I respect. 

"I'd give anything not to have let everyone down, and I'd give anything for the peace of mind to deal with my ego now."